You can dance, you can jive

jessicaramsey @ 2009-01-02T22:49:00

2009-01-03T04:12:26Z

Me and Randy went to this party at Sanjita's together for new years. We danced, we played games as a team, and we kissed at midnight, and no one cared. So I guess I worried over nothing. He's a great boyfriend, the only thing I hate is that I didn't go for this sooner!

I made a new years resolution that night too. I want to do more at school. I had some friends at the party but most people are kids I barely know since I'm almost like a new kid this year. So I want to go do more stuff. There's these one-act plays coming up soon, I could try out for those. I probably wouldn't get a big part since I'm not an actor, but I'm sure I could get something. And I definitely want to help with the musical in the spring. And I could do ther stuff too. Mal's on the literary magazine and she likes that a lot. I'll find something. This is going to be a great year!

jessicaramsey @ 2008-11-30T19:10:00

2008-12-01T00:17:49Z

Thanksgiving was so fun. I love my family. I know that's something that can go by without saying, but I really do love them. They're all just so nice and fun and great! It was so fun seeing Michael and Marian again. I miss them all the time but I didn't even realize how much until I saw them. Marian went out shopping with me and Keisha on Friday and to the movies. I can hardly wait til Christmas and Kwanzaa to see everyone again. Maybe I'll at least have to take a trip out to NYC in December, stay at Michael and Marian's. Marian had talked about wanting to go see the Rockettes. And Dance NY is having a show too, Maritza said it's really good, and Quint's in The Nutcracker at Juilliard.

Yeah, there's no 'maybe' about it now, I have to go to NYC before Christmas.

I think I talked about Randy a little too much though. Keisha was surprised that he wasn't my boyfriend. We finally got a chance to talk on Saturday and we ended up talking for an hour. I figured we'd just talk a few minutes, to see how each other's thanksgivings went, and before I knew it, an hour had gone by. Maybe we should just go out. We practically are. I guess I'll just see how we keep going. I don't want things to be a big change with us, I like how we are. I just need to make myself look past the racial thing. It really isn't a big deal. I think I'm just making it into one. No one else seems to care, so why should I?

jessicaramsey @ 2008-10-10T20:51:00

2008-10-11T00:56:50Z

I got a date for homecoming! I was figuring I wouldn't get one, and was thinking of maybe seeing if Quint wanted to visit for the weekend and go with me to it, but then Randy actually asked me. It's weird. I mean, he's a good friend, I've had such a blast with him since I got back. Like me and him just totally lost touch once I left Stoneybrook, then there he was with me in first period and we just hit it off right away again like we did when we were doing the Follies. I said yeah for the dance, of course I did, I know we'll have fun. But I'm just wondering if he likes me. I've never actually dated a white guy, or even liked one. But I probably can't let myself only like black guys anyway, not living here. I think I could kind of like Randy though. Maybe.

jessicaramsey @ 2008-09-10T13:06:00

2008-09-10T17:11:15Z

Things are so weird at school. I mean, they're good. Great, even. I've gotten back in with a lot of my old friends, not just the BSC girls. I've got classes with Sanjita, Elise, Randy, all these cool people who I remembered and who I was figuring had forgotten all about me. I've got people to talk to and joke around with and hang out with in every one of my classes.

But things are weird with Mallory. I don't get her. I know we're getting older, we're in high school, and things are changing, but this much? She comes to school every day dressed like how Stacey did back in middle school, she does her makeup during the day, and all she seems to care about is finding boys to talk to and how to become more popular. And there's all these weird rumors going around about her. I know none of them are true, there's no way they are, it's Mallory, but it's just so weird that things like this are going around.

I was so happy to get to come back here and be around all my friends again but I never expected it to be like this with her. I thought we'd be like we always were. Maybe she's just changing too much for me.

jessicaramsey @ 2008-08-26T16:57:00

2008-08-26T20:59:51Z

Here I am, back in Stoneybrook. I didn't ever think this would happen once I went off to New York. I figured I was there for good, I'd go on to Julliard or the ABT or something. But now, I'm finishing up summer reading and thinking of what classes I want to register for at SHS.

I'm really excited though! I'm going to take Spanish and I'm going to join some clubs and the new dance studio I registered at seems really really great.

Except for the fact that I'm pretty sure I'm the only black student there...

jessicaramsey @ 2008-07-08T19:29:00

2008-07-09T01:05:44Z

When the night says hello
Yeah, get ready to go
Turn it up, turn it loose
Yeah you've got no excuse
Just take a chance
Get out on the floor and dance

FULL NAME: Jessica Davis Ramsey
NICKNAMES: Jessi. Only a handful of people call her Jessica. Her parents and Aunt Cecelia when she's in trouble, and David Brailsford.
BIRTHDAY: June 30th, 1994
ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Cancer
GRADE: Freshman at SHS
FATHER: John Ramsey, one of her favorite people. He works in an office in Stamford. She's not exactly sure what he does.
MOTHER: Janice Davis Ramsey, works in advertising in Stamford
SIBLINGS: Becca, 11, in sixth grade at SMS. Shy but sweet, is trying to come out of her shell a little more in middle school. Her first step is joining the school band, but she's at least hoping that her seat in concerts won't be in the front row.
John Phillip "Squirt" Ramsey Jr, 4, attends a combination preschool/daycare near Janice's office in Stamford. Likes anything where he can be outside and mostly spends his time out there picking up bugs.
OTHER FAMILY: Aunt Cecelia. After living with the Ramseys for about a year and a half, she moved out into an apartment in a retirement community in Stoneybrook. Each family member secretly wishes she'd at least moved to another town, but they're happy with this.
Michael and Marian, Jessi's cousin and his wife. Jessi's been living with them while in New York and has grown accustomed to the rather laid-back lifestyle of living with a couple in their early thirties who feel more like older siblings than guardians.

PERSONALITY:
---Everyone knows Jessi. She was that new girl in sixth grade. She's the dancer. She's the only black girl in her grade. She's the funny one. She's Mallory Pike's best friend and she's the junior member of the BSC. This is who she is and it's who she's been for the past few years of her life.
---More than anything, Jessi loves her family and her friends. She wouldn't trade any of them (well, maybe Aunt Cecelia) for the world. She's missed them while she's been in New York, although she has family and friends there as well. They aren't the same though.
---Overall, Jessi's just a nice friendly girl. She's loyal to her friends and family, she's funny, she's nice, she's that kind of girl who you know that you're guaranteed to have fun with.
---However, Jessi is opinionated and a little insecure. She feels like that's more of a change in her ever since the move to Stoneybrook. Before that, she never really felt that way. It's the race thing. She was the only black student in her grade at SMS, the only black girl of all her friends there, and part of the only black family in her neighborhood. She tends to use that as a crutch. If someone doesn't like her or is acting strange around her, that's probably the reason. She knows that this isn't right, even though it has been the case sometimes, and she's trying not to use that as a reason for everything anymore.
---For as long as she can remember, Jessi's life has been dance. It's always been there, it's always been that huge part of her life, and it's what's taken her away from Stoneybrook and her home for the past two years. Now she's going into high school and her priorities have changed. She still loves dance, and she knows she always will. But she's wondering what she's giving up by doing all this. So she's taking a break from it. She's coming back to Stoneybrook and attending high school like a normal 14 year old. She's still going to take dance, but, at least for awhile, she doesn't want to be Jessi "the ballerina" Ramsey. She just wants to be Jessi.
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FAVORITE BOOK: She's grown away from the horse books lately and is mostly into young adult fiction. Maybe it's the influence of the BSC on her, she's not sure, but she loves books that focus on a close-knit and diverse group of friends. Her favorites are the Traveling Pants series, and the Cheetah Girls series.
FAVORITE MUSIC: Having to listen mostly to classical all day at school, she enjoys just about any other type of music. Mostly she's into hip-hop/dance music, and has a huge crush on Chris Brown.
FAVOURITE MOVIE: Center Stage (though she knows that it kind of sucks, she won't admit to liking it as much as she really does), Flicka, Enchanted
FAVORITE COLOR: Red
FAVORITE FOOD: Fresh fruit, spaghetti, anything that her grandma makes when she goes back to Oakley
FAVORITE PLACE: It used to be a dance studio. Now she's not so sure.
FAVORITE ANIMAL: Horses. She may have grown out of the books but she still loves horses.

HOBBIES: Dancing, reading. She wants to expand those so she will start trying out new things.
PHOBIAS: Jellyfish, losing touch with friends
LIKES: Good jokes, family dinners
DISLIKES: Racism

BEST FRIEND: Mallory, Maritza, Keisha
FRIENDS: Kristy, Claudia, Mary Anne, Dawn, Stacey, Quint, Tanisha
ENEMIES: None
SIGNIFICANT OTHER: None. She's spent too much time dancing.
CRUSH: None.
PAST RELATIONSHIPS: Quint, maybe. If it was a real relationship. She's not sure. They were sixth graders. They lived two hours apart. But he's the closest thing she has. She has a feeling that he might be kind of into Raun now though.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Heterosexual
TURN-ONS: A cute smile and, while she knows this really limits her possibilities, she likes any guy who's a good dancer.
TURN-OFFS: Egos

BEST SUBJECT: English, history
WORST SUBJECT: Math. Overall she's good in everything, but she has the hardest time with math.
EXTRACURRICULARS: She doesn't know yet, and that's one thing she's looking forward about going to SHS.

SOUNDTRACK

"Superwoman" by Alicia Keys
Everywhere I'm turning
Nothing seems complete
I stand up and I'm searching
For the better part of me

"Who I Am" by Jessica Andrews
If I live to be a hundred
And never see the seven wonders
That'll be alright
If I don't make it to the big leagues
If I never win a Grammy
I'm gonna be just fine
'Cause I know exactly who I am

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

"Dancing Queen" by Abba
You can dance, you can jive
Having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene
Digging the dancing queen

Dance Like Someone is Watching

2008-02-26T20:57:28Z

I audition tomorrow for the ABT fellowship. I've chosen to do the Diamond Fairy solo from Sleeping Beauty, which is extremely fast, and the fouettes are death defying, but I can do them. I'd love to have the balls to bust out the Rose Adagio, but I'm years away from doing that with any degree of real competence. I'd look like a little girl dancing in her dream solo basement instead of a ballerina who is really on the rise.

I only hope, while I dance tomorrow, they see me, Jessica Ramsey, perhaps a future principle ballerina of the American Ballet Theatre - and not Jessica Ramsey, a black ballerina.

Why

2008-01-27T21:00:55Z

Somedays it is hard to do this. Not the body hurting part: it's hurt ever since I started en pointe.

It's that I miss home. I miss my family, I miss Mallory and my other friends, but Mallory most of all. I don't regret it? And right now, all I want to do is dance? It's just hard and if I didn't say it was hard I'd be fooling myself.

I just don't know how I can make it any easier. If it ever slows down enough for me to go home as much as I want on weekends. I don't know. It just sucks and I guess that's all I can manage on it. That it sucks a lot.

Music's the reason why I know time still exists

2007-11-28T04:58:41Z

As much as I love dancing, I don't know how the older girls here do it. I know final exams for the semester are coming up, and how can they handle stress and performing at the same time? I don't know if I could do that. It's impressive and hard to watch, all at once.

I'm going home this weekend, though, and I'm really excited. Mama and Becca are coming to get me, although I know Becca will beg to stay and shop for god knows how long.

I'm also hopefully going to see Mal, which will be awesome. And I think Claud's putting together some sort of shopping trip?

But really, the most exciting thing about this entire weekend? Is a break from ballet.